Monthly Archives: December 2015

Billy vs Santa

Santa Claus
North Pole, H0H 0H0
Canada

December 25, 2015

Dear Santa,

My name is Billy. I’m sure you know who i am cause you know ALL the boys and girls.

Last night, after our family Christmas dinner, I washed the most dishes I had ever washed in my life. It took me a real long time, but I finished them all and the sink was real clean. When I woke up this morning, the sink was full of dishes. My parents told me you left them there.

That is not cool, Santa. I gave you milk and cookies. By my calculations, that means I should’ve seen 1 plate and 1 glass in the sink this morning. Seems like you had a FEAST after I went to sleep. Technically, I left you MILK and COOKIES. I don’t think its fair that you helped yourself to all our desserts, and it seems like you used a new plate and new fork everytime you stuffed your big belly! No wonder you are so FAT!

YA I CALLED YOU FAT. BECAUSE I DON’T CARE ANY MORE. I WASHED THE DISHES FOR AN HOUR THIS MORNING!!!!! Like, WHY DID YOU NEED TO USE THE ROASTING PAN???  WHY????????? THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER, AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next year, don’t bother coming to my house. That bike you gave me? Thanks. (I’m being sarcastic IF YOU COULDN’T TELL) YOU KNOW ITS WINTER RITE???? I asked for a PS4 and you gave me something I can’t even use. When summer comes i’m not gonna ride this bike. I’m gonna tell my dad to give it away.

I HATE YOU YOUR A FAT STUPID LOSER IF I SEE YOU AT THE MALL NEXT YEAR YOU BETTER LOOK AWAY.

Sincerely,

Billy